For a long time now I have waging a battle with smoking. Since before I was diagnosed with diabetes, I have been trying to permanently stop. I win a little ground, then I lose a little. I have been smoking since I was nine years old. A babysitter got me started.
For the first few years smoking was more or less hit and miss. If I could sneak one from my mom’s pack here or there. None of my peers were even thinking about cigarettes yet.
In those years it was common for parents to send a child to the store to buy their cigarettes. I was going for my mom’s smokes by the time I was 5. By the time I was 14, I was smoking a 25 pack a day. By 16 that had increased to 2 - 25 packs a day and stayed there for several years. At around 22 I had decreased that amount to 1 - 25 pack a day and stayed there for the next 26 years without ever a thought of stopping. After all, it was very socially acceptable to smoke and everyone did it.
Then it became not socially acceptable and all the health related information started coming out in full force so I decided to try and stop.
The first method I used was by reducing by one the number of cigarettes you have each day. I got down to three a day, but could not seem to overcome that barrier. I smoked 3 a day for over a year. The "patch" came out and I thought that I would try that to get over that final hurtle. I bought step 1 and put it on. I didn’t smoke any that day! Or the next! I thought I had found the answer.
The third day I was in intensive care in the hospital. I had used too strong a patch for the amount I smoked and my heart had reacted poorly. A minor heart attack. I was fortunate in that there was no damage to the heart muscle, but it was scary.
I didn’t smoke for 3 ½ months, but I did start again....for a few months. I tried the patch again, but I was smoking a pack a day again so I started with step 1 again. When I had gone 5 days without a cigarette, I quit using the patches.
I didn’t smoke for 1 ½ years that time. But I started again and in less than 3 months I was back up to a pack a day. I kind of gave up at this point and didn’t try again to stop for 4 years.
I was diagnosed with diabetes. It was determined that I had been diabetic for around 17 years pre-diagnosis. Along with the diabetes I had the usual things that go hand in hand with it. High blood pressure, high cholesterol and all other things they test for at 4 - 5 times the norm.
Smoking was adding to the problems. I was short of breath all the time. Even walking I would huff and puff. My circulation was going. I was overweight. So I decided to try and stop once again. That was several years ago and the only period I have totally stopped was a 3 month period a couple of years ago. However, using the patch I have kept smoking down to about 5 a day. but I didn't seemed to have the will power required this time to stop completely. When the craving started getting strong, I'd take the patch off and smoke for the rest of the day. Or at least until a couple of months ago. Then I remembered that I had been able to stop for a couple of weeks using Champix and decided to try that again.
This time I was prepared though. I knew what my reactions to it would be. Headache, nausea, vivid dreams... in short, most of the more minor side effects. I decided that I would be able to handle these and, more importantly, that I wanted to. I wanted my sinuses unplugged, and my breathing to improve, my health to improve. I knew how good I had felt those times that I had stopped for extended periods.
The first time I tried the Champix it was costing me out of pocket, and that could be difficult on my pension. Now the government was going to cover it, so I waited till that program came into effect, as my doctor advised. About 7 weeks.
I have been using the Champix now for 3 weeks. My breathing has improved as has my ability to walk further (weight loss this year has helped with walking too). Control of my diabetes has improved as well. I was up to 10 cigarettes a day again and had been for 3-4 months. The first day on Champix I went down to 5 and stayed there for a few days. By the time I had been on it for a week I was down to 4 cigarettes a day.
The next week is the full dose 2 X a day. I went down to 3, then 2. Then I spent a week and ½ smoking 1 a day. I just didn’t want to let go of that old friend. My body has been used to having those chemicals (not just the nicotine, but all the others as well) since it was forming. It has had the feeling of smoke go down the throat since forever. But I want my health back and I don’t want to be ruled by this addiction any more. I have not had a cigarette for almost a week now.
I think I will make it this time. I know I must. Not for anyone else, nor any thing else, but just for me. It is my decision. It is my health.
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