TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY

    Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

    Today is the first day of this blog.

    A new day is on the horizon, and I want to be ready to greet it. I want to put the past to rest.

    I want to leave a record of my life, thoughts and feelings. I want to record what lessons I have learned.

    I want my son, who has been missing from my life for over 20 years, to know his mother.

    But why do that in such a public forum?

    Perhaps my experiences, insights into myself, growth or lack of growth at different times, may encourage someone else who is going through hard times. Life is becoming better for me. I am older. I have let go of a lot of things of the past and have started looking to the future. Sometimes wishing that I had more time. I have not, till now, made the most of my life. I have wasted precious moments in being angry, in blame, in (should I dare say it) hate, in self-pity, in excuses.

    Don’t expect, dear reader, to be led down this path in a chronological procession. This accounting will be all over the place, as I think of things I want or need said. One day could be something that happened at age 2 or 3. The next could be something that happened today. These are just things that I think about that normally would remain just that. A thought. Never coming to the light of day else wise. I may even muse on why the sky is blue :).

    Though I have been through many ups and downs in life a new day is dawning. Right now I have no job to supplement my small disability, but things are about to change. I await the next few weeks and what they will bring with bated breath. I am on the verge, at 58 years old, of a whole new adventure. I will travel. I will start crossing things off my "bucket" list. I will make a difference in the lives of many in ways I never thought possible. It is going to be an exciting time and one I have longed for my entire life.

    I will not tell you more right now of the source of this bounty. That will unfold as we go on. I am readying things for receipt of it and this you will read about. I am also, in the process, getting my house in order for the time that I will no longer be here. As to where I will be, I have confidence that it will be a far superior place.

    I hope that you, my readers, will enjoy travelling down this meandering path with me. I pray that at some point, my son will find this site. I don’t know if he will know for I am not identifying either of us, but will hope that it touches some part of him for the better.

   God bless you all till next we meet.